Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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