Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
