she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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