I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
