WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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