is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
