This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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