I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
