Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
