And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
