Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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