I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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