it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
