Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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