Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
