are you still at the devil's house?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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