I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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