Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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