I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize