so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
