his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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