Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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