i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
