Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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