I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
