I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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