no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
