I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
