You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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