at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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