I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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