walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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