Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
