Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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