Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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