woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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