Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
