yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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