he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
