No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
