just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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