I'm going to jail i love you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
