You're my little dorito
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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