your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
