p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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