I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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