i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
