My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
