I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
