How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
