the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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