He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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