There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That was an excessively violent trivia night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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