He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
