Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
