I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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