i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
