bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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