"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize