i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
