You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
