why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
