This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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