People with herpes should wear stickers.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had sex on a roof
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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