Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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